I haven't posted about this here, but my mother, 80 years old and frail, is still living in her home, but will eventually need assistance or to come live with me. I have struggled all my life to overcome the abuse and fear instilled in me by my mother. I rarely go visit her though she only lives 2 hours away. Just talking to her on the phone brings me down. Like, for instance.... my recent home improvements...Her response to my painting the interior of the house..."You shouldn't do that...you'll fall!" (Well, I DID fall and wrenched my knee, but I'm recovering and happy with my decor projects. And telling her of my flooring projects: "YOu shouldn't be doing that; you'll cut yourself!" (I did cut myself, and my hand swelled to balloon size, but I've recovered from that too!) This is just a minor example.
I'm relating this here, because, being raised in an atmosphere of fear, it is hard for me to relate to my mother without being affected. These are small examples I've related here, but her fear and negativity are pervasive. She's SO happy I'm not dating or seeing anyone right now, and put the fear of God into me of men when I was growing up. I attribute this to my anxiety about romantic relationships and even why I married a non-entity who had no concept of romantic love.
Sorry to ramble on about this here. I just know I can't CAN'T have her come live with me.
Patty