Your subject line really jumped out at me. I always feel guilty about needing help. In my own experience, I will have some bad days, and other days I feel fine. It just depends. The problem is that you can be fooled into thinking that it was all "in your head" and you cancel your appointments and stop taking your medication. If you felt miserable enough to find this website and to make appointments with your doctor, I think it's safe to say that you are far from being lazy or a failure. Keep posting, or do something nice for yourself because you deserve it! Be kind to yourself. My T is trying to teach me to do the same.