I can give you all of the reasons in the world, but utimately you need to find your own People have different reasons - the scars, not wanting sympathy of others, guilt, not wanting to be addicted to SI to feel/express.

The thing you really need to work out is - do you want to stop? What do you get out of cutting? Is there a way you can achieve that in another way? It seems for you that you use SI as a way to show your pain. Can you think of other ways to do that? Talking, poetry, writing etc?

It's great that you have first aid training and ensure that you look after your wounds however the other dangerous thing about SI is the effect it can have on your brain and it's use of endorphines (chemicals that make you happy). The more you use SI, the more you crave it to release endorphins and your brain thinks that you need to harm more severely to get that release, as well as needing it to cope. That is why SI is often classed as an addiction. It is very hard to stop when your body is craving the endorphin rush.

As I said, I can't give you a reason to stop - that has to come from within you as it isn't an easy thing to do . I would suggest looking at creating a pro-, con- list about it. Be completely honest with yourself and see what you can come up with on both sides. Also think long-term. Is this something you want for the rest of your life?

I can completely understand the pain. I used to SI myself for many years as a way to express the pain but ultimately I found my reason to stop. I was sick of being completely dependent on the release and craving it all of the time. It was taking over my life. I have now not SI for almost 5 years. The feelings are still there when I become extremely stressed but I have managed to resist them. I don't want to go back.

I wish you the best of luck