A man who was not stable at all started yelling at me today. He entered a place where I was and where he didn't belong at all. Instead of being terrified and turning into quivering jelly, I faced him and forced him to leave the room. One of the men who worked there finally had to threaten to call the police to make the man completely leave.

The "fight or flight" syndrome kicked in and my muscles tightened so much that I can't bear to wear my brace right now. My back and chest muscles are so sore. Even the muscles in my throat hurt. I feel like I'm choking and I can't stand to bend my neck. I've taken my pain medicine but I don't know how I'm going to be able to lay down to sleep without the chest pain being even worse.

I think the fact that scares me the most is that I was more than ready to defend myself against this man. They kept thinking I was shaking out of fear. In fact, they thought I was going to faint. They didn't understand that I was shaking so hard because I was absolutely consumed by rage that another man dared threaten my safety.

I am shocked that I can feel such rage. If he had touched me, I would have hurt him in any way I could. That fact mystifies me... What have I become?

Jan