Simon...my heart goes out to you...I know alot of what you are saying...the hurt deep inside...I wish there were magic words I could say to cheer you up...You are so young...and talented...your music and writing...and I know you don't believe this...but one day you will find your true love and you will write beautiful music to her...for now...I can tell by your posts that you have the ability to write...to make people listen...I am rooting for you!! also maybe changing meds may help...sometimes it helps me...I am caring...and so are so many on here...!!! Feel Better!!!