Hi Seeker...I have a similar problem although my mom is much younger, her health is very poor and I have been thinking of the same thing.. whats going to happen IF she becomes incapable of taking care of herself...

My mother didn't instill in me the kind of fear you have had to live with.No.. she has been more of the competitor type of mom.. always trying to outdo me, therefore going out of her way to make me look and feel stupid.

And she sexually abused me as a child too. So, I have come to the conclusion that she is mentally unstable and thats why I do not have hatred for her after what she did... but I don't feel obligated to her anymore... not like I once did.

I know she is going to have to go to a home if she gets to that point, because I am not willing to sacrifice anymore of my life for her. And maybe that sounds cruel, but it isn't meant to be.. it is meant to be taking care of myself for a change.

I think if parents want their children to take care of them in their old age, they should give their children reason to love and respect them so that they will want o take care of them.... who wants to take care of the very one who has caused you to have to be in therapy?

Anyway.. just my thoughts.. I hope you are able to sort it out.. take care of yourself....