People's ideas of "God" are based on their own experiences, I think. I too felt at one time that "God" hated me and wanted me to die, but I think now that that was just due to what many people say about "God" -- how vengeful "he" is, how willing to inflict injury. This kind of "God" is seen in what we call the Old Testament/Hebrew Bible, and in the New Testament as well. I think it has little to do with any actual Creator of the Universe. It is our own creation.