Me too. I'm so at the point where I just want to say f*** it. Just pretend that none of it is happening and live in blissful ignorance. I tried talking to my gf the other day and it just ended up with me yelling at her and her ignoring me. (That's how we fight when we do. She has sort of learned that sometimes I just like to yell, so she lets me. I swear, she has the patience of a saint.) I told her it is really hard to deal with everything when I don't know if the meds are helping or not, and either way it sucks. Either they aren't working which means a lot more experimenting, or they are and I really am still just a monster underneath.