I really appreciate the suggestion Hellion but I will have to find another way. My own boundaries and limits do not exclude me from working at all. It's just a matter of finding something that I can handle. The recovery avenue is best for me and only needs patience and care.

I think that I do want to eventually take a phlebotomy red cross certificate program. But unless I can be assured of employment after paying that much money, it just isn't worth it. I need to be able to juggle my education with my work, and I cannot do that if the only available positions are insane hours in hospitals. I would be devastated if I had gone through that training and investment to find that there is no gainful employment. So for now I'm both job searching while also trying to reach out to places where I can at least volunteer as a phlebotomist. But so far both have come back empty handed so I'll keep trying.

As for feeling bad because I cannot handle certain jobs being a problem, I agree with you. It is a problem.
It is a problem that I am what they call a boomerang adult. It is a problem that I have both carpal tunnel and ulnar nerve entrapment. That I had to withdraw from my original chosen major and career path because of it. It is a problem that my associates and friends have children, careers, and houses while I have nothing by comparison. It is a problem that I'm called pathetic, a loser, a deadbeat, and told that I will never complete my second attempt in academia. Told that I have to just suck it up after quitting sales and retail because of the physical pain. It isn't a pleasant situation.

It isn't a pleasant situation but thankfully I have an awesome temperament and typically feel happy and content rather than sad. Aside from those moments when my job search is fruitless, of course. I feel horrible about my living and working situation. Everything in my life tells me that I should hate myself for being the failure that I am. The few times when I am told statements like you have told me, other people in my life would say that you are an enabler. But I believe that telling me that it is not okay to hate myself because of these circumstances gives me better perceptive on life. So thank you Hellion.

Thank you so much.