I think, too, that you list your mom and your therapist as your key relationships; that's not "normal" for most adults? There should be coworkers/costudents and bosses, teachers, and other acquaintances as well as personal/romantic interests. Relationships should be, can be, usually are, wonderful things and that you think you "choose" not to engage in them because you only find hassle or not getting along is pretty much the all-or-nothing of abandoning/being abandoned.