this is sort of an interpretation of being sick and being stable and reflecting on the sick from a stable but confused state of mind. sorry it's so darn long.

my brain is like a company and although I'm the boss... I've arrived for work and discovered the darn place is under new management! ...or so it appears ...nothing looks familiar and my first instinct is to run for my life. But to where?...and also I have to stick around and set an example for the "others"...

...there's a bunch of "them" working there too and all over the place they scurry here and there and at the sight of me they scatter. Afraid I bet!...yes thats right I have the power to fire them all on the spot! ...and especially the "ones" who have just starting working there...which is all of "them"

here in my brain ...at bipolar industries, where everything might look fine but stirring beneath the surface is an air of dis-content....and "they" know it's coming from admin!

...so "they" all scatter. I'm the worst boss thats ever been in charge of this ridiculous place...stuffed if I know how I stay in business at all??
...know everything about the company though...inherited it from my alien ancestors when they last did an Earth fly by.

so anyway I've arrived for work and am curious it appears I keep hiring new staff and none of them know what to do.? but they were so busy just recently even had two or three employees of the month!

only a few weeks ago I had no staff at all I sacked most of them without pay...and others suffered unfortunate and fatal industrial accidents when the manic alert alarm system sprang to life ...and some staff members were un-accounted for totally!...I expect they just quit! it sure crossed my mind a little later on as it does.

...working conditions went way bad but I didn't care I just shut the factory down and went on a rampage within..."what responsibilities?? infrastructure my butt!"

all alone in my psychotic brain interacting freely like a God with all the world...one GIANT brain party...a mad scientist free from distractions and pressure and putting everything on the company expense account. kept everything running ...all systems at full power...gonna be employee of the decade where I work...

...shame that the production lines began to jam right up! and the servers began to crash and spot fires too much friction in the mechanicals ... sparks flying water gushing out of cracked pipes bricks falling out of walls filing cabinets upturned pencils not sharpened pigeons pooping windows smashed rust forming and clothes dirty.

and suddenly let the whole site burn to the ground I don't want to work here anymore!

.....but! after several days collapsed on the factory floor...I look around at the mess something motivates me to rebuild WTF? so I'm on the phone to all the poor dudes I layed off sacked and killed offering awesome return to work packages and slowly get the place up and running again and it's go go go....and stuffed if I know.

...which brings me to today. I've arrived at work and the company is in pretty good shape and it hit's me "I don't even know what the hell I'm manufacturing here??"...and nobody else does either and thats why "they" are scurrying here and there trying to look busy but everybody is nervous and I'm not content...I'm scattered so bad I set up a staff meeting and just sat there picking my nose...

ya see...the "employees" are the stable ones ...they got some purpose they make the company work they do all the rebuilding after all the manic destruction, thats all they are good at... they struggle to work well the rest of the time because the boss is a real weirdo! ...I'm only good at firing and hiring apart from that I have absolutely no management skills!