the thing might be that you're having a hard time with perception. You say you experiece unfair criticism. Could it be that you don't take criticism well so more often than not it seems unfair to you? that could well be the BPD traits that you exhibit. I know what you mean by people leaving and I'll be honest, for me, yes I either drive people away or drive them nuts with my behaviors. It may not always be clear but I know that I can be a hard person to deal with over time. you're not experiencing amnesia, juts when the person leaves you might not be in the midst of some kind of blowout so it leaves you wondering why. After a bad situation, for me, I almost forget waht happened or what I did and expect things to be all hunky dory so I sometimes don't realize that resentment and anger may still reside in the other person. If they don't leave when I'm freaking out about something, but at a time when I've "forgotten" about what happened, it leaves me baffled. I wonder if that may be what's happening to you.

Just my 2c. Hope that helps.