I looked at some of your old posts and noticed you're into horror movies. By putting things that focus on evil in your mind, you're giving place to the devil who wants to destroy your faith.

If you want God to be real to you, start studying the Bible everyday for a certain period of time--not a legalistic thing, but approach Bible study like you would a hobby you loved. Isn't God worth as much time as your other pursuits. And when you study the Bible, focus on all God tells us about Himself and how great He is. Read the accounts of the miracles in the Old and New Testament. If He can do that then, there's no reason He can't provide all we need now so trust Him to do so.

Also, focus on prayer. Read Ps 62 where it talks about pouring your heart out to God. Tell Him what's on your mind and be honest--He already knows your every thought, so get it out there so you can discuss things with Him.

As Puritan Pastor Matthew Henry wrote in his commentary on the entire Bible, 'you can never trust God too much, or man too little.'

I'm sorry if this offends anyone.........