Hi ~ Sam gave you some EXCELLENT advise. I know you're depressed, and believe me I know what depression is all about. I've been depressed since I was a small child - probably around 4 or 5. My parents were too drunk to notice, so I didn't get treatment until I left home - I finally began treatment in my 20's and found I was clinically depressed and have been on antidepressants ever since. I'm now 63 !! I've also been thru therapy.

Like Sam said ~ don't give up now. You're holding things together quite well, contrary to what you might believe. Yes, I know it's difficult for you but starting therapy will certainly make things easier for you - I know it did for me! Even the FIRST session made a difference as I was ready, willing and able to open up and talk to the therapist. Just be honest with the therapist and tell him everything. No secrets are allowed. You're safe there.

You're a good man. Like Sam said, you should be proud of yourself, and I agree! God bless, and PLEASE take care of yourself -- and let us know how you're doing after therapy starts, ok? Hugs, Lee