and about self destruction,this all I have to tell you friend;in you case you drink,take drugs and cut yourself;in my case it is uncontrollable anger or rage;

My rage not only adverself affected my family(who are here for me in my time of distress),but also has made me loose self esteemand I felt all is my fault ;

i just realize,I have never loved myself enough;and this time I am sure ,whatever tough time comes in,I am not going to give in;

So it is just me now,grooming myself,exercise,looking for a better job(i 2 have lost mine );So we are both in the same boat
Wishing you the best in life,do not treat yourself in a bad manner,and then nobody shall!!!!!