Now that Sam mentions it, I too have had mere seconds when driving on the highway where I was determined to drive my car into the cement abutments that hold up the bridges! Thank God, the urge passed before I got there!
But it shook me up something awful, to think that I even considered such a thing --- but I didn't MEAN to.

This has happened perhaps 3 times, and I'm totally unnerved afterwards. I should really get off the highway, and have someone else drive, but wouldn't you know, it's always a time when I'm alone! It's like I'm being tested as to my will to live, or something.

So you're NOT alone, Anemone. There are more of us out here, and probably even more yet if people would admit to it. You're not "weird" or anything. It's just something that happens for some reason. Please take care of yourself. Hugs, Lee