No need to apologize at all. You are heard & believed! Please keep posting.
Divorce is never easy or ideal for you or children. Been there with a young son & had to make that decision to stay or go.
Ex H was already hard on my son, not just me, didn't want that life for us.
But then ex made things very hard on me & neglected my son when he needed a dad.
But...a peaceful home was worth it.

Tough decision, everyone's situation is different & a very personal one.
Children learn what they see & are exposed to. They have no choice, they learn from example.
Again which is best? Which is best for your family?
To stay together, status quo or separate & see how everyone does without the stress & tension of your marriage. A time limit sounds reasonable to me but if you do decide to leave STICK to that decision or it will mean nothing to him.
It will be a bluff he could possibly thro back in your face.

Draw on your faith. Your support ladies group seems to have served you well.
If you feel comfortable maybe confide in the one's you think can be trusted.
Whatever you decide, you deserve better, either as a couple or apart.
You are not a door mat or a puppy to trail behind him catering to his every whim.
This may seem a little blunt but only want the best for you.
Take good care.