I'm sorry you're trapped in this living relationship for the time being. My situation is the same, except that I'm the mom and my 27 year old son is living with me. I work extremely hard at understanding my son's experience, though. That's why I post here in the sz forum instead of finding a forum for caregivers.

I don't know what to advise about your mom. Maybe find support elsewhere to help take the edge off?

Sometimes it helps when you're in a negative relationship to work hard on your end of the thing. Maybe the other person will respond eventually. No guarantees, though. And it seems unfair to put that burden on you when you already have so much to struggle with.