I would open up too about your phobia....and don't push it with yourself. It sounds like you are almost ready but not there yet.......give it some more time and then see how you feel again.......
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Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
Oscar Wilde
Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
The road to hell is paved with good intentions.
"And psychology has once again proved itself the doofus of the sciences" Sheldon Cooper
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