Power, that's awful. I really wish I had the right words for this. I've got next to no wisdom for the kind of relationship problems you're having, but I do know a thing or two about the will to live. I won't lie and say it's an easy answer or a reasonable journey. When I tried to kill myself in July, I had to face myself in the mirror and decide why I would live. Maybe you can use my answer to. I am praying that I am wrong about this world. I don't believe I'll succeed but I'm going to try, anyway. Because, one day, maybe I'll get thrown a bone instead of just having my chain yanked. You'll never know unless you try, brother. Keep going until you can find a reason, until you can find your happiness. It's awful and being defeatistic is just something I think we all fall into; but never give up the hope of something more. Long is the way, and hard that out of Hell leads up to Light.