Over a week with at least 5 messages that I left, he basically said he was busy. I've never done this before, the messages I left expressed how I was feeling plus I was hysterical on a few. How am I to trust him like I did before, (BTW-which took a long time)?

I don't know if I want his 'help' anymore. He just seems so cold, eventhough a mutal friend of both of ours - who does know what has been going on with me - keeps telling me that he's committeed to helping. I just don't know if I'm up to this anymore. I told both my T and Pdoc that I thought I might need to go back to the hospital...the Pdoc seemed to be the only one conserned, then again-it was because he messed up my meds that I was so messed up.

I still get tempted with the bottle of pills. I still have quite a few left and I'll be refilling the perscription next week. I still have the scars on my leg...probably have them for a while. I just keep remembering how much better I felt after I cut myself, it was like a relase from it all for a little while.