I'm so sorry that you are are going through all this right now. Here in the states, there are centers or schools specifically for children with autism/Asperger. My son has behavior issues that were intense when he was in preschool. He is in middle school now and is doing great. My son does not have the asperger diagnosis, however, many of the interventions that help aspergers helped him.

We hooked up with a center that offered specialized therapy for children on the autism spectrum and we say immediate improvement. My son participated in weekly OT, speech language, music therapy, social skills. It was costly because insurance didn't pickup a lot of the cost and our public school was not helpful either. But it was worth every penny. I might have a shabby couch and worn out carpets, but I have a son who is bright and is able to enjoy being around people and people are able to enjoy being with him.

I don't know if you have such centers where you live of not. We found our center through a pychologist who didn't have the expertise to help us but knew of this center. We called and got on the wait list for an eval and then got started.

Hang in there - and I know it is easier said than done, however, try not to take your son's outbursts personally. Your son is very frustrated because he cannot make sense of his world and he is lashing out in the only way he can at this time. He has lots of "work" or learning to do and he will not learn it the first time around. You have to be ready for a few steps forward and then a regression. But don't lose heart because the steps forward will continue. Your son needs you and it sounds like you understand his pain very well. Your job now is to advocate for him and get him into a program.

You will find that there are many who have absolutely no clue as to what you are living with. Well meaning people will make comments that just slice into you - it is so hard to shake that off but you have to. I have learned that some folks don't mean harm and sometimes they are open to hearing information from me. There are always those who are very sure that they know more than you about your own son. Let those folks go their way and do not waste time trying to convince them. I've found those people who do not have children to be very sure in their own minds that they know all there is to know about child rearing. Ha ha.

Also - inquire with your school system so as to hook up with other parents of children with Aspergers. It has been a big help to me to be with other parents who have similiar situations. And, often, these other parents have a lead on a center, a summer camp, a therapst who has helped them and who might help you. You never know.

Hang in there and don't give up. You already know your son - which is an acomplishment in itself. You seem like you know pretty much what kind of intervention you need - you just have to locate it. And you will - you seem very determined and that is good.

Best of luck to you and your husband. I'm so sorry your husband is having a rough time of it, hopefully he will regroup and be able to jump back into the action.