I'm sorry you're going through this.

A couple of things I've learned from having BP2 for over 40 years is that getting outside and going for a walk helps lift my mood. Bad as it is to admit, chocolate also helps.

Another thing I learned that willl ruffle some feathers no doubt is that a lot of the meds actually have depression as a side-effect!! I know that sounds crazy, but it's absolutely true, and happened to me for years on end. After going on meds, I ended up so depressed I was barely able to get off the couch for days on end, and looking back, I certain a the main culprit was klonopin that was prescribed to help me sleep. I went off it several years ago along with my other meds and was shocked at how much less depressed I was. Then, because I have a sleep disorder that causes me to jerk as I fall asleep, I went back on it. Within 3 days I was so deeply depressed I couldn't stop crying. This went on for a couple of weeks to the point I was nearly suicidal for no reason. Fortunately I remembered reading that these could be side-effects of the meds so I googled it, and there it was in black and white. I immediated went off it, and within 3 days, my mood returned to normal. I'm now convinced I was taking a depression pill every day for years when I was on that stuff. My sister takes it from time-to-time and ends up morbidly depressed as well but won't believe me that the klonopin is a huge part of her problem.

If you don't believe me, google [name of med], side-effects, depression, anxiety and see what comes up. A great place to check are the sites where people write about their experiences on meds.