Everything was getting on my nerves, and I just lost it.

My son was talking about how the dog still isn't housebroken. Thinking about that got me really irritated. It's been four months, and she's still sneaking upstairs and going to the bathroom, even after I ripped out the carpet that she's ruined, hoping she wouldn't go on the wood floor. She doesn't go on the wood floor downstairs. She has to sneak upstairs and do it instead of letting someone know she needs to go out. She still rips stuff to shreds, papers and shoes mostly. She still can't be left home alone. I want to give her back to the shelter, but too many people would be disappointed if I did.

Then my son was watching this show I absolutely HATE. It's Crank Yankers on MTV2. I asked him repeatedly to turn it off. He just kept laughing.

So I'm ticked about the dog. I'm ticked about this show and my son laughing and repeating the idiotic crap the puppets were saying.

I just lost it. I started screaming. I ran in the living room and practically threw the TV on the floor so I didn't have to listen to it anymore. My son screamed "NOOOOO" so I stopped, but I managed to scream at him to "just shut the f*** UP" because he kept mimicking the show. I pounded on the TV and then managed to turned it off.

He turned it back on a few minutes later and the color was all screwed up. Great. I busted the TV in my fit of rage.

I had to call the crisis line, I was so upset. I was feeling like absolute crap, especially over the fact that my boyfriend is Mr. Never Let's Anything Bother Him and here I am screaming at the top of my lungs over a dog and a stupid TV show. I feel like I should just break up with him right now because I'm such a loser. I haven't had anything like this happen in years. I don't know why it had to happen now of all times. The crisis worker said I shouldn't beat myself up about it, that parenting is hard and we all lose it sometimes. Still, I shouldn't have lost it as bad as I did, and I can't understand why I did.

My son was mad. He went out and was going to sleep in the car. First he hooked the dog up on her cable. She wouldn't come in the house. She sat outside the car whining at him because she was worried. She's still moping around the house and acting like she did something wrong.

My daughter was pissed even though I wasn't mad at her. She took off even after I told her she wasn't going to leave the house at 10:00, in the dark, and go walking. She decided otherwise. She called from a friend's house and left a very curt voicemail saying she was staying overnight.

My son comes back inside and meant to toss his cell phone on the couch, but it overshot it's mark and went through the window that leads to the enclosed porch.

So now I'm thinking I have a busted TV and a busted window to replace. Turns out the TV readjusted the color after it was shut off for a while. But I still have a broken window.

My son and I were eventually able to laugh about everything. He was mostly mad about the TV, and since that ended up OK, he couldn't stay mad.

I'm so disappointed in myself for this and I feel like I shouldn't be in a relationship because what if this happens again? How could I go so ballistic over a dog and a TV show? How?