I have only been here on & off...just enough to poke my nose in & look around. So many things going on in my life & dealing with people has brought on horrible anxiety attacks.

I have been sick for about the last month with the flu. Then I needed to be with my horses when the ferrier came & decided to give all 3 of them a nice bath. Stupidly, I didn't remember to use sunblock & got a horrible sunburn. Not like one thing on top of another. I haven't been able to do much packing of things & haven't gone down to my Mothers home much at all. Unfortunately, I don't have that much time left to pack up both homes given money limitations. That is when I start realizing that people who end up homeless probably have been in the same situation as I am in. Reality tells me that I have to get everything done much faster than I have been able to so far. My husband doesn't know how to look at reality & tells me I am over reacting. Unfortunately, he doesn't even know what reality is & is mostly like the ostritch that sticks his head in the sand.....reality ends up kicking him in the rear & he never sees it coming because he hids himself from any sort of reality. This is a big fight we go through.

I had an offer for my Mothers home & just before I took the information to the trust lawyer, he lowered his offer by quite a bit. The lawyer suggested that I talk to another real estate person & see what they think. I did he told me what he thought the house should sell for. It was way over what the guy offered. I decided to go with listing the house on the market as is with the real estate person I just talked to. When I told the other guy I wasn't going to take his offer, he tried to make me feel guilty....telling me that he had done so much over the time we were talking about the sale & that I should have told him sooner. I let him have it & told him he hadn't done anything except look over the house, give me an offer, & then lower the offer when he felt the market was going down. I told him the lawyer thought his offer wasn't fair (& honestly, I didn't feel it was fair either) & that was that. That was where I cut him off & told him he could see what it was being listed at when it goes into the MLS....otherwise I would really blown up at him. I hate people pushing me & trying to make me feel guilty for absolutely nothing. I think people look at me & don't think I have it in me to let them have it. I may look like a quiet person, but don't cross me.....I can be real nasty when I am pushed to a point I feel I shouldn't be pushed to.

While I have been feeling sick I have been searching the internet while going over my Mothers medical records. I ended up searching the internet trying to find out if the RN that was doing the home care for my Mother & who did the ID theft, was actually registered as an RN. I sent an email to the group that reviews the behavior of RN's in California. They sent me some interesting information. The RN supposedly is registered, but she doesn't spell her name the same way as the home care lady did. Not only that, but the RN was registered in 1976. The lady that told me she was the RN is about 10 years younger than I am & would have been a very young teenager in 1976. The lady from the California RN group told me they are going to have someone ask me some questions regarding what happened. It sounds to me like the lady that told me she was an RN & came into my Mothers home to care for her is actually an imposture & has committed fraud beyond any ID theft & buglary she did with my Mothers jewelry. It will be interesting to see what kind of information we end up with on this lady......maybe I can come up with something the police can actually take her in for. It is probably bad, but I just can't let go of what she did until I have overturned all the possible stones & end up in a dead end. People don't realize that is isn't good to get involved with me when they are doing something crooked. It's like catching a tiger by the tail. I won't let go until I absolutely have to......the more I dig, the more information I am finding. I am also getting the my mothers medical records from the hospital to see what was actually going on with her......so much information is opening up, it is important for me to know so I can get some closure on the situation & hopefully hang that person who claimed to be the RN.

On the fun side, my oldest female eskie snuck a last litter of puppies in on me. I was waiting after her last puppy until she got feeling better. After her last puppy, I told her she was going to be spayed & that she was getting too old to have more puppies & I didn't want anything to happen to her. She seemed to go into a depression besides having some mild kidney problems. Before I got the appointment to have her spayed I didn't notice her heat & she ended up having a litter of 3 puppies. 1 female & 2 males. My psychologist had a patient that wanted the female puppy & it turned out that he wanted one of the males. His wife didn't want a puppy "no way". Well, she went on vacation & my psychologist asked me to bring him the most easy going male. I took him the sweet one that I called Buddy. He was the puppy that always came up to me & wanted loving. The other male was just a crazy clown & I felt that he might not be the best candidate for a family with someone that wasn't going to be crazy about having a puppy in the first place. Well, the best part......the whole family loves the new puppy & he is being a wonderful little guy. He is also acting as the therapy dog in my psychologist's home office. The one I ended up with is definitely the clown. I was keeping the whole litter in my bathroom & it is hard not to drop things in the bathroom.....well, they kept landing on the head of the one I kept. He was always diving for cover so he got the name of GI Jo Jo. He turned out to be a totally awsome puppy. When I am having horrible anxiety attacks & laying in bed, he curls up right next to me for hours. His daddy is Leo, (who I also call "Boo"). It really looks like the puppy got his daddy's "boo genes". Like father like son....I now have 2 guardian angels. Yes, mommy is now spayed & there will be no more litters from her.....that is another reason why I felt the need to keep one puppy from her last litter.....never imagined that he would be just like his daddy.

I can feel the change of season coming even though the temperture doesn't say change. With the change comes the feelings again that brings all the memories back. I told the real estate person that is listing my Mothers home about some of what happened. He knows the trust lawyer who was there for me during everything that happened & I have days when I just can't function. I have to be a pain to work with when things absolutely have to be done immediately. So goes my life.

Debbie