for me it depends. sometimes I like to be held and other times I don't. most people in my life know that I am a survivor of rape and child sexual abuse so they ask before touching me. Sometimes I say yes of ok other times I tell them no. Occasionally someone be it friend, relative, doctors, therapists, other survivors and so on will reach towards me to hold me and sometimes I welcome it and other times I take their hand instead and say to them thank you for wanting to hold me but right now I would rather be able to see your face when we are talking or I tell them flat out I don't need to be held right them.