Hello there.

I am only expressing my own thoughts about this.

You may agree or disagree respectfully.

This is my own experience.

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sometimes it's also about them and not always about us.

I spend so much time racking my brain wondering what I do that's so bad.

I had a sponsor in a 12 step program that said, "What others think is none of my business".

I do relate to the wondering what I do that turns ppl off.

Esp if they don't say anything and just "act out" at me. (acting dismissive, cold, etc.)

I cannot guess what goes thru ppl's minds.

All I can do is change myself. And since others dont' always tell me things, I guess a lot and I try to change things. But I can only do it so much, so long, so hard, and only such at a time. I mustn't be so hard on myself, says Ani, my mentor.

There is self-scrutiny and there is self-torture.

A fine line.

Carol