Hi there.

I just want to get some stuff out.

I have always had OCD, but last night I did some stuff which really scared me. Scared me because it makes me feel like I'm going mad.

Lately I have been very stressed for various reasons. I find everything very difficult to deal with.

For example, if I can't find something I start ranting and raving/putting myself down/self-harming/counting & arranging things a certain way.

That was bad enough. But last night, I just couldn't deal with how I felt. I cut my arms with some glass and then I drank half a bottle of brandy amongst other things.

I went and talked to someone after I did this, as I was immensely worried by what I did.

However, the worst part for me was when I went back in my flat and wrote numbers all over the wall. I have a thing about the number four and I kept writing it everywhere.

I haven't told anyone yet about this, I'm scared that whoever I do tell will think I'm crazy.

Has anyone here ever done anything like that? Any advice?