I know how you are feeling, as this is how I have been feeling lately. I haven't been to my dietician for 3 weeks because of scheduling conflicts, and don't really want to go back. However, I know that I need to because she told me that she won't let me gain too much weight, even if I think it is too much. She helps keep me centered. I just know that I don't want to have to go back inpatient because I would have to go either across the state or out of state since our local ED center closed due to funding. I hope you are able to see the light and start being able to eat a "normal" amount again.