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bluesuntat80 said:
I hate to sound cleche but communtication is so important! does he know how neglected you feel? if he does then why continue?

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Good QUESTION..... and one I have asked myself many times, and this is what I came up with.

* First and for most I LOVE HIM and I really do believe HE LOVES ME, he is just scared of being to close to any one due to his own past wounds.
* Second it goes against every thing I believe in, as far as GOD goes, and my husband has not done that of which would deem the right to divorce per my Faith.... no sexual affair.
* Third we have 20 years together and a family, not to mention that with my anxiety disorder and medical problems of RA - I cannot work as to support myself.
* Fourth we do have our good times and wonderful memories together.... it is not all bad.


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SerenitysWave said:
<font color="purple">I cannot answer that Rhap... for my view/ thoughts on sex is not the norm.... I undertsand that most find it emotionally connected, I do not..... I have a very distorted view.... it is just an activity.... to adhere any emotion to it sickens me and I feel dirty.... I place it in a pleasurable (sometimes even selfish) catergory , a recreational activity...

In that aspect, I can understand that yes it is very hard to return any intimacy when I have felt neglected.... I feel used, uncherished and uncared for.... I want to be told or showed that my feelings are valid, a thoughful reassurtion of our commitment.... and then I will be willing to give him what he needs as well.... </font>

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Yeah - my husband is like YOU - he sees sex more of as a recreational activity that gives him pleasure..... where as I see it and feel it as an inner bonding of two souls - I could never have sex with someone I did not LoVe.
... now don't get me wrong - I like a good quickie every now and then too and just for the mere pleasure of it.

In all I am just asking that I be placed a little higher on his list..... that of which I have been over the last twenty years, but I keep on getting replaced with other things in his mind and with his addictive personality.... I was not aware of this personality when I married at the young age of 18 - Big Sigh!
... I think it is time to renegotiate the contract again - .



LoVe,
Rhapsody -