Now that I have written all of this, I just want to say to you, Laura, that I miss you. And that I am angry with you. You left me alone when I needed you. Yes, I have a life partner, my wife, but sometimes we need someone else to just be that best friend. You were mine, Laura. You abandoned me, not to mention your family. But this is about me. About words I've had locked up inside of me for five years. My heart aches when your birthday comes around, when school starts, when today comes, when Thanksgiving comes, when Christmas comes, and when Spring Break comes. I remember the fun we had, the laughter and the joke about making sure you have a gorgeous diamond for an engagement. But now that's gone, Laura. You took that away. Do you know how many times I've thought about taking my own life? In the last five years I'd say over a hundred. But then I think of you, and I cut instead. Still not a good choice, but better than killing myself. In a way, you are protecting me from myself. Maybe that's why you are gone. I don''t know. All I know is that I wish you were here. I NEED that best friend. I'm not doing well, as you probably all ready know. I...I miss you, my dear friend. May God keep you safe and in His arms. You will always be in my thoughts. I love you, Laura.