I'm afraid that I'm living a "fake" life. I don't want to battle these emotions for the rest of my life.

I was this same way with my ex-hub, for our 17-18 year relationship. I can't stand the thought of continuing this. It's got to stop! At the same time, part of me counters that I must of had some love for my ex-hub & we just couldn't work through my troubles in the end. Maybe my current bf and I will be able to work through my troubles. Idk! I'm scared...and confused.