I hope this helps. If you want to be married again, stop seeing this man. You deserve better than this push-pull relationship and I do not think he would get better if you two married.

I think you were right to stop seeing the second man who moved too fast.

Take everything a formerly married man says with a grain of salt about his ex-wife.

Be straightforward with the men you meet; ditch the ones who are not straightforward with you. Ditch the ones who appear to have "problems" if they are not honest about those problems and actively and productively dealing with those problems.

You deserve a decent man who will be honest with you and treat you well.

This is my opinion only, but I feel compelled to say it: some men will say and do anything to get sex; some men seem to like sex best when they are putting one over on a woman; and some men may be sexually attracted to women, but not like women personally. In my opinion, the men I have just described are the ones to avoid like the plague!