You sound almost precisely like me. I'm the same age as you, and I've had...oh...maybe 3-4 opportunities to punch the proverbial v-card, but I declined. I too want it to mean something aside from sex for the simple purpose of sex.

There's nothing at all wrong with wanting love to come with sex, and there's certainly nothing antiquated about the idea. It sounds, to me, like your friend's who're heckling you about it don't share the idea, and therefore don't understand it. That shouldn't be a motivation for you to "do it" just to get them off your back, you know? If you have a stance on this, stick to it.

I'll go on to say that the first girl, whom you wanted to be with, was, to me, a little cruel to you and cuckolding and committing very much a double standard on you. It sounds to me as though she viewed sex as a game, whereas you viewed it as something far more. That's commendable of you, and I wish that mindset was more prevalent today. While I don't think she is or should feel obligated to "commit" on the basis of foreplay and I have to respect her decision to not want to have sex on the basis of purity (which I think based on the way you tell it that she regrets her first time), it...I dunno, but it seems a little selfish in an odd way, to want to be sexual with you but not with her. I don't know if that makes sense, but it puts you in a bit of an odd position.

For you, I'd tell you to keep to your ideals. So what that they "beat" you to it, so to speak? Don't let their opinions shape what you want. I'd tell you to focus on building a relationship, and not to focus on building simply sex. If you find the right girl and build a relationship, the rest tends to take care of itself.

lol And to move to a lighter subject, if it makes you feel any better, you're doing "better" than some (cough me cough) of us.

Stick to your guns, and I wish you all the best of luck.

Sincerely,
Harley