My hubby is able to hold conversations sometimes, laughs sometimes and can do what he has to do to get by. He isn't working at the moment. Lost his job a year ago. It's been difficult for us because I have pretty much taken care of the finances and our home. He had an addiction problem which he has successfully scaled through.
Since getting out of rehab in June, things haven't been easy for him. He has been struggling to get back on his feet. He wants to get a new business running but it's proving difficult getting the capital to start it.
In the meantime, he goes out a few times a week to see his parents & a few bankers. Other than that, he only gets out of bed to eat. Then goes right back to bed.
It's been all too much for me, and still is. He is somewhat withdrawn, does not communicate, seems self centered, does no house chores, does not show affection, sex life is somewhat nil, etc. I'm getting frustrated.
I initially boiled it down to him being very lazy and comfortable with me doing everything. I started confronting him and it all just turns ugly after every confrontation. With him saying things like I should be glad I have a man at home! I too tell him I don't need a bum, but a man! It's all weighing me down! In one year, I have dealt with a spouse with an addiction problem, losing a pregnancy, and now this...
It just occurred to me that he may be suffering depression. I asked him to talk to a doctor and he has outrightly refused. I have asked him to go walking with me (I walk 3 times a week as a form of exercise), he has refused that as well. Everything I suggest, he simply throws away. Claiming when his business starts and he starts making money, he will find things to do. Meanwhile, he just sleeps and eats while I do everything and worry about him too. How can someone sleep or be in bed for 15, sometimes 20 hours a day for over a year?
Is this normal with depression? A lack of motivation? How can I get him to do things we used to do together? How can I get him motivated? How can I be his friend when I've got so much on my plate? Can this marriage work?
What and how would you want your partner to deal with your depression?