Last winter I almost died from severe aplastic anemia, almost total bone marrow failure. Since then I've gotten well acquainted with hematology (blood cancer) clinics.

Thursday was my very last scheduled blood draw. I am now completely off the immunosuppressant that I've been on since December in an attempt to get my blood counts back up. So far so good, but I don't have the results of Thursday's tests yet.

Today in the mail I got a brochure about an upcoming lecture series on dealing with cancer.

Logically, I know they probably pulled the mailing list from hematology clinic patients. But there's part of me going, "Is there something they aren't telling me?" I was so out of it for so long during 5 weeks in the hospital that I really don't remember very much, but I got my records when I switched hospitals and it was very traumatic to read through. I had no idea I was really that close to dying. It truly is a miracle I am still here. It's one thing to have people tell you they didn't think you'd make it, and another to see it for yourself in black and white.

So now I have issues about doctors telling me stuff. My records showed all kinds of things they found that I didn't know about. I'm trying hard not to wonder if something showed up on Thursday's tests, but even if it did I can't find anything out till Monday, and although I've never been outright dx'd with an anxiety disorder, I think I probably qualify! Can somebody just slap me and tell me I'm overreacting and need to chill?

Thanks.

Candy