I do forgive those who abused me. But I think of forgiveness as not a means to let them off the hook, or a gift to them. It's really about me, I don't want to carry around all the pain forever, or anger, hate, resentment. So I see it as a way to free myself, and let it go. The other person doesn't have to know I forgave them, they don't feel how I feel about it. They might not even think about it, I am the one carrying it around. So to me it really is more abut what is in my own heart and head.

Some people I will forgive and keep in my life, but some I can forgive and not keep in my life at the same time. Some I might tell, and others I will not tell. But I know that holding on to all those feelings keeps me in prison, not them.