I am Bipolar I and BPD and I usually post on the Bipolar forum. But today I have been thinking about how well I am doing, without therapy, in regards to appreciating the shades of grey. You know how we BPD-ers are known as black-and-white thinkers, as people who either idolize or denigrate their partners, without anything in-between?

Well, I used to idolize my ex husband, and I have gotten over it and will now try to recover some of my rights to visit with the children who live with him, after giving him ALL my right in 2009 and then ALL my money in 2011. So right now I can tell that I have had enough with him and I will go for whatever legal recourse is available to me. It is going to be hard as I have had a suicide attempt, but I will try my best.

But the thing is, I have not started to denigrate him in my thinking about him. I recognize that he has been hurt, that he has feelings, that he is a good father for the most part except that he belittles me in front of the children and speaks unfavorably about people who are bipolar. I recognize his good qualities - I see the grey!