I agree God does work in a way that we will never understand. I know adult kids can say very mean things. I hope you and your oldest son talk, come to an understanding and work things out. I'm not sure if you participate in local support groups NAMI (
www.nami.org) has groups everywhere. Consider going and encouraging your husband and sons to attend. There are support groups for family members of people with a mental illness. I'm glad your able to spend time with your youngest son and grandchild.