There needs to be a "I'm having a panic attack" icon to attach to posts!

I hate living with my sister, partly because she tries to run my life like I am one of her kids and partly because I lived alone for the previous 20 years and am not used to having people around on a daily basis outside of work. I'm not that crazy about it, frankly. And I'm tired of living in fear of getting yelled at for taking time to read or play on the puter or do anything that might look relaxing.

My BIL just came down and said they wanted to talk to me after dinner about "money and plans." My sister tries to pretend she is OK with me here, but more than once she has managed to indicate she is sick of me. Which is fine, because I'm kind of tired of her as well. There's one major difference: Without her, I'm literally homeless. I have $5 in the bank and nowhere else to go. I started a new PT job this week, but it pays crap and isn't going to allow me to save any money to get out of here.

She thinks I need $1000 to move out. I did the math. $1000 will not get me through one MONTH. I want to go back to my hometown, but I would then have to find a job THERE, or more likely 2 or 3 of them. It is a struggle trying to get Walmart to hire you when you have a graduate degree, let me tell you. But I need to do SOMETHING to support myself while I look for something in my field.

I'm frantic that they're going to kick me out and make me sink or swim, and I'm going to drown. I can barely even breathe right now. I want to cry. I don't know what else to do. Maybe this should have gone in Anxiety instead, I dunno.

Help???



Candy