I am currently working on this myself with my boyfriend of two years. I am no where near your position of being married and settled with two kids, but we somehow lost our spark. For me (I dont know if this applies to you too) but in order for me to regain the spark with my boyfriend I need to feel good about myself first. I dont feel sexy or pretty so I cant get the ball rolling so to speak. He is already very shy so its obvious I have to make the first move, which is no problem.

I think talking to your T is a great idea. I think you can re-create the spark. Even if there was not one to begin with. Just have to be more adventurous and take some risks. I think I can be able to do this if I had more self-confidence and can be more daring and take the lead. Some guys find that sexy.

Unless however you dont find him sexy or attractive? Then thats a whole different story and you have to start asking yourself some tough questions

Good luck and keep posting!