ruby:
I'm so sorry this happened to you. We often live our traumatic events repeatedly. I read somewhere, because I'm so convinced that this disorder resulted from repeated lack of validation, that our negative feelings are the only way we know how to validate ourselves. This would make sense that we feel comfortable in revisiting painful experiences...we are constantly seeking validation for ourselves.
Not only that but the cycle of grief has reset for you: let it run its course. One thing that I know about myself is that I often fear feelings -- thus i'm not only experiencing the pain of the feeling but the secondary emotion of fear.

DBT (which I certainly have not mastered by any means and am still very new to it) suggests to 'radically accept' our feelings. Let them come, this diminishes the fear of them. Do the distress tolerance skills: distract, relax ,cope, but don't push the feeling away. Often when we build walls to block feelings we end up holding them in even moreso as well as heightening our fear of them. Ride the wave of your feelings, don't focus on them, but don't resist them. This is easier said than done, but I find meditation helps a lot.
Talking about it helps, as you're already doing.

Also, if you can't get into the mindset of meditating try a guided meditation here (at least this is what I use):
www.audiodharma.com
I also stream new age/ meditation music from itunes or windows media player to help me relax and get into the 'mood'.

I also suggest to deactivate your facebook for awhile, at least until you are confident that you can handle whatever it throws at you (I'm sure you will find that many around have had negative facebook experiences).

Sometimes I relive certain traumas, I am swept away with the emotion. My natural reaction is to get tangled up in it, resist it, amplify it, milk it, grasp onto it etc. Well, let me say that healing is ALIEN to us. If my natural reaction is opposed to healing, I have to do things very unnatural to promote healing (which can at first feel very uncomfortable --they still do feel very foreign).

Anyway, this is all I can offer right now from my own journey and experience (which is the only thing I can ever really offer).
But I definitely have my distraction and self-soothing lists in my pocket at all times! (10 items on each). Make some homework for yourself to write out two lists today and do one item on each.
If you need suggestions let us know

www.dbtselfhelp.com