I don't know what has been going on with me over the past year or so, but lately I have been terrified to even leave my house. I live in an area where I can walk to pretty much anywhere I need to go, and if not a 5 min car ride takes care of the rest, and yet I am afraid to leave my house. Walking during the day time doesn't ellicit the panic and fear as quickly as walking after dark. I am not sure what started this fear/panic, but it is really frustrating. Driving anywhere is even worse. Everytime I get behind the wheel of my vehicle I am in a state of panic/fear. This doesn't matter if it is day time or night time. What am I to do? I can't just stay locked up in my house all day, my house mom will not approve of that anyway. One of the expectations of living in this sober house is that we either get a job, or find some volunteer work to do. Well it has been difficult to do that because the fear of getting behind the wheel everyday freaks me out. So finding a place within walking distance is something I have to do, but I have to find something where I am not going to be out after dark, because my panic/fear esculates after the sun goes down. I just don't know what to do. I am afraid that it is getting worse over the past few weeks especially since I have been at this house, and I have been here for a month and a half. I don't go to any AA meetings after dark because I have to walk to and from and that is just not an adventure I like to take on. During the day I can go out and not feel as afraid, but the fear is still there.
Has anyone else had this experience, and if so what do you do about it?
I plan to discuss this with my t on Thursday, (I haven't met her yet), but I am not sure what she will be able to say either.
Many days the fear of leaving practically leads me to tears, and walking after dark illicits so much fear/panic that I can't focus on what I am doing.
On the plus side, the fear of driving has made me a much safer driver (not that I wasn't already).