Hi Sarah,
I'm sorry you are in so much pain right now. Friday I had a similar spell where things just seemed hopeless and overwhelming. I was able to go to a friendly restaurant I frequent where the people seemed to be glad to see me and I could sit in a public place for awhile. Once I was a little calmer, I used a CBT app I have to think through what made me upset. I was able to rationally look at my thoughts which also helped a bit.

I hope things get better for you. Best Wishes.