Quote:
Originally Posted by nightsky
((((((Ellie)))))))
A few years ago, my T had to have an MRI on his back. I asked him how it went and he said "thank you for asking me, but I have a lot of support and this is about you". It kind of stung, but it did set a clear boundary and helped me not feel so much like I have to "take care" of T (something so completely ingrained and left over from my childhood).
I wonder if being put in the "caretaker" position - like you were probably in with your mom - was kind of triggering??
I completely agree that you shouldn't have to pay for these sessions.
You seem to have really good skills when it comes to working things out with T...maybe this weird situation will lead to more understanding and closeness in the relationship.
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I do think that this is all about me feeling put in the caregiver position. I get so tired sometimes. I feel put in that situation way too often. I know it's because I can do it, so it falls to me. I'm just tired.
It's not that I want my therapist to take care of me. I don't need or want that. I just don't want to have to take care of him. It's causing all kinds of strange, upsetting feelings.
I just don't want that.
My old therapist created a very nice space for me. It was so safe. He was in the space with me, but it was mine. I don't know how he did that actually.
this guy occupies my space.
Also, he handled the payment thing kinda ****** (or I did depending on how you look at it). He said that he felt like he shouldn't charge me for the sessions. Me? Oh. I paid for November in full.
I really don't know what to do here. I have no idea how this guy will handle my upset. I can't trust his reaction yet.
Oh well, time will tell. If he reacts poorly, then my suspicions are well on the way to being confirmed.