I work in the fashion/beauty industry. It used to mean the world to me. Back in the day, nothing could stop me. I envisioned myself the next Anna Wintour. I was so focused, had goals, beautiful dreams, I was on a warpath to success.

And then life happened as it does. Over and over one tragedy, roadblock, brickwall...and I kept getting back up. 25 years of being knocked down and getting back up.

10 years ago, I was faced with the biggest challenge of my life and I trudged through, slogging through the mud and quicksand pits...determined to keep going. My anger propelled me. And love.

Then, three years ago, I was knocked down again. But this time, I couldn't get up. I tried. I crawled. I suffered. I gave up almost. I have been making due but my self esteem is non- existent. Or barely there.

I finally took a chance, a despite feeling humiliated and embarrassed, I asked some coworkers for help. Their expertise. Their input. To help me try to be my best...Improve my outer appearance. Sort of like in the Devil Wears Prada but without sacrificing my insides.

It was hard to ask for help but I did it. And they were lovely about it. Thank God.

I have never had to worry about my appearance before...but since three years ago, I sort of just gave up. I stopped looking in the mirror, stop caring just to the point to where I wouldn't totally humiliate myself in public.

But over the past week, I saw myself. Reflected in others eyes. Wake up call. I realized I do not want to spend the rest of my life alone. I don't want to be isolated and alone with only my cat to talk to on the weekends.

Even a small improvement here and there to start...i hope it helps even a tiny bit. I have a big event coming up in January, a launch, that I do not want to miss because of my fears. The person, people mean too much to me to not show my support.