Oh my gosh, your post is making me cry..and that is because I feel the same way. I often wonder why I can't find even one friend when there are billions of people in the world. It makes no sense. It is ironic that people who intentionally hurt others and are just down right mean have many friends. But are they really friends? Or are people just intimidated? I don't know. Maybe the truely good people are just so few and sparsley distributed through out the earth that we just haven't had the opportunity to meet yet. LOL...I don't know...but you are not a bad person and you are not without hope...and you are especially not alone!