You are not broken!
My mother & father were not medicated MI as a child all I wanted from her is to get the help she needed. As a teen after a particularly bad event I accepted who she was. I was not healthy enough to live there. I didn't want the wake of my destruction to interfere with my growing nephew and sister. I as a teen did not have any animosity towards them.

As a parent I realized how difficult it must have been for my parent to raise us. They cared for 3-5 MI children, while dealing with there own MI and working opposite shifts

My son feels we are wonderful parents but we have a huge support network both professionally and personally. We have a cousin that stays with us. My son travel's to NYC when ever we feel it's needed. We use a lot of quick cooking food, spend days in bed reading together. We put in really strict written rules about discipline.

There are times that I can not take care of my child. There are times I question if I really care about him. We have written plans of how to care for him when we can't. However between school, sports, homework, friends, and appointments there just a few hours a night. Plus having a kid that loves reading we can hand him a book when we are not well.

If you do choose to have a child get a good psych team and get stabilized on safe meds. You can also look into going to intensive outpatient therapy while pregnant. Daycare can help a lot if your husband can drop your child off and pick him/her up when your not doing well.

Consistency has a lot to do with raising kids. My sons therapist has helped him tons as well as karate. He doesn't always get consistency from us but he does get it in other ways.