So recently I've taken a good look at myself and realized something. I'm about as disgusting a creature as you can get. There has to be something repulsive about me, I don't have any friends or close family. I don't have a job, I don't have any social groups or talents and I'm too depressed to even do anything about it. On top of which, I've been so full of hate for so long that I honestly can't remember feeling anything else. I don't fit into society so I deserve this. I deserve to be miserable, I deserve to be alone. I should just start directing that hatred inwards. Just let it burn me out from the inside, till I don't feel anything anymore. There has to be a reason I feel this way, a reason I'm so pissed off all the time. I hear this buzzing in my head constantly and feel so sick to my stomach and tired and just have come to the realization that I don't deserve for anyone to care. I don't deserve happiness. I don't know what I'm expecting here. I guess I'm just ranting. I just don't know how much longer I can sit here and be around these people the way I am. I've lost the ability to even pretend to be happy. Now I just sit around all day and break into crying fits or start trembling out of anger and know that it must be my fault. For whatever reason, I'm completely alone, and completely miserable and the world keeps on turning but I just want it to stop.

I wish I had something good to offer people. I wish I could make people happy instead of just putting them down, but I can't. So in order to prevent doing any more harm, I should just be alone forever. The only good thing I feel I can offer is to disappear.