Dearest Hatter ~ Unfortunately I haven't seen your other post, so I don't know your background, but I can only imagine. I imagine that you came from a very abusive childhood - you didn't get any affection, love or compassion. This is just what I'm guessing.

Because of that, the anger from your childhood is coming to a head and it is going to"blow." After years of festering, it's only normal for things to get ugly. You are NOT TO BLAME for this!! And more importantly you are NOT a "disgusting creature.!!!" You are a person who has never received loving care, understanding, and compassion!

What you need most is therapy, my friend. You need someone to listen to you -- someone you can tell the deepest, darkest secrets to who won't judge you or not believe you. A therapist will certainly be compassionate, and understand your current feelings and help you to deal with them. I hpe you will ask your medical doctor to get you a referral to a good therapist. And I hope you will do it soon.

We care about you -- so please keep us posted, ok? And see a therapist as soon as possible, okay? God bless and take care. Hugs, Lee